Protesting the drugging of our children

A fellow parent and Scientologist on the anti-psychiatry protests in Philadelphia at the American Psychiatric Association conference:

If there’s something that should have been abundantly clear by now, it’s the fact that I’m 100% opposed to the practice of labeling and subsequent psychotropic drugging of children.     At its core, it is the world’s most-effective marketing sham, and too many parents fall for it.

The American Psychiatric Association held their annual marketing pitch to “doctors” in Philadelphia this year, and my family lent their voices to the many up there that came to demonstrate at the convention center and make it known how we feel about it.

Psychiatrists recently released their Diagnostic and Statistical Manual V – which literally is simply an eloquently-worded bunch of random observations about every facet of human behavior, compiled in such a way that psychiatrists can point at amazing-sounding illnesses like Nicotine Use Disorder for smokers, “Caffeine-Induced Sleep Disorder” or even “Complicated Grief Syndrome” for if you’re bereaving the loss of a loved one or pet dog.  Any of these are simply then used as a ticket to push more drugs.  Watch this video about it.  It’ll open your eyes.

Because psychiatrists could never come up with a root cause for man’s ills – they’ve instead fallen back to just describing phenomena they see in people, and then prescribing drugs as “treatment” to mask one from that phenomena.

Unfortunately, this practice is not only a money-grabbing lie, it’s totally destructive.  Psychiatric drugs are responsible for the real-life version of the Reavers from Joss Whedon’s Firefly /Serenity shows.   They simply mask reality from a percentage of users, and for another percentage, they cause TERRIBLE side-effects, from physical disability & derangement to suicide, school shootings and soldiers going on insane killing sprees.

So, if it wasn’t clear before, let me make it clear now – if someone ever ever attempts to label the normal behavior of my children and push them onto mind-destroying drugs – Lord help them.

See this post for more photos of the May 2012 Philadelphia anti-psychiatry protest.

A child learns by mimicry. Most children, unless they’re severely aberrated, are very good mimics. And they look at the adult and they try to use the adult as a pattern for their own actions. This is natural. Unfortunately, most adults around children have quite a few dramatizations. So the child may start now to mimic the dramatization….

L. Ron Hubbard (quoted in Children Learn by Mimicry – So What are you Teaching Them? | Scientology Parent)

Baby painting in the bathtub

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Spectatorism is very great in our modern society. Because some people cannot conceive of causing[italicized] anything, they just watch it. They don’t do[italicized] anything. They are not PARTICIPANTS. They are spectators. You see this in magazines. Hee hee hee articles about how odd this is or that is. No understanding of it. It’s just odd and one watches it in a detached sort of way. Below this is somebody who doesn’t even notice. Such a person has to come up scale just to be a spectator.” — LRH (1969)
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What exactly is fair exchange between parent and child?

This is a great article on what parents should expect from their children, at all ages, in exchange for raising them, feeding them, taking care of them, etc.

The other day my teenage daughter asked me a question that totally took me by surprise.  In my studies and upbringing, the idea of “exchange” is an important part of life and of surviving well.  The concept is easy and clearly observable:  you will receive help and cooperation to the degree that you give help and cooperation.  It is taught in every religion and family in the world.

So for all her life my daughter has heard at home, in church, at school, “it is important to keep your exchange in with the people around you.”  And honestly in most cases she is very good about doing just that but not always.  Sometimes she just wants to “relax” or “do her own thing” instead of cleaning or helping me out with a particular something.  It is a common problem between teens and parents.  Some teens are better than others and not all teens have had the advantages other teens have, but in one fashion or another I have heard this problem come up in my counseling sessions both from the parents and from the teens themselves.  Frustration abounds.

One thing became abundantly clear to me when my daughter asked me, “How can I possibly be in exchange with a person who carried me for nine months, cared for me, gave me everything and has helped me my whole life?”  When she asked, I was at first surprised and then discovered that I was no longer confused about any of her unexplainable behaviors.  It was a completely fair and honest question.

My mind raced to all the things my parents and grandparents taught me and to the teachings of a dear friend of mine: 

“Continually in this society, you’ll find a sixteen-, seventeen-, eighteen-year-old kid is in a high state of revolt. ‘Papa, Mama – they’re no good anymore; they’re old-fashioned. They can’t understand. They wouldn’t be able to understand a woman of the world.’ Or a man of the world, as the case may be. ‘They don’t have a person’s best interests…’

“All the kid is trying to do there in his teens is simply break this ‘You’re helping me, you’re helping me, you’re helping me. I’ve got to do something about it because I’m getting owned, owned, owned. And I don’t own myself anymore. And I’m getting worried about it, so I’ve got to protest, and I’ll find anything to protest against.’ And the kid at that stage will have the doggonedest things wrong with his parents. Oh, he has just terrific numbers of things. The parents have done this and done that and done this and done that to him. And actually, what he can’t face is the fact that his mother fed him every day.” – L. Ron Hubbard,  from Route to Infinity, Lecture #6 May 21, 1952

All these things went racing through my head and so I wanted to answer her as simply as I could since honestly, I have felt exactly like that myself!  Yes, even adult children find themselves at one point or another asking that question regarding their parents.  It would be so easy to become overwhelmed and just say it is impossible and then start to become critical of their parents.

With little children it seems easier and clearer than with babies and teens and adults for some reason.  You tell them, “I will buy you this toy if you clean your room every night before bed.”  Simple. “I will give you a dollar if you clean up the living room.”  It’s very clear-cut.

But parents seldom tell their infant daughter or son what their exchange with the family is.  Now that must sound crazy to you right?  But a lot of times when a parent brings a inconsolable baby to me in desperation, telling me the doctor could find nothing wrong; no gas, no physical maladies, no observable physical discomfort, the first thing I do is ask them if they told the infant that they want him/her and totally intend to keep him/her.

The second thing I do is find out if they told the baby what their job is in the family.  And when I tell the child, “Your job right now, until you are older is to grow this body very healthy and strong, to sleep and eat well and to get as many smiles as you can from others,” I swear, every time I do this they stop crying and either become very calm or smile!  To which others around them smile and I tell them, “See, you are winning already!”

OK – so that is for babies and young children. What then is the answer to my daughter’s question? I simply told her what is true for me:

“At this age and through your adult life a good exchange for me would be:  be self-sufficient as you can be.  Get yourself up on time in the morning; help us get out of the house on time. Get a good education, be interested in your studies, do good work and help your teachers gear your education to your purpose in life so you will be happy in your education and your future work.  Start earning things that you want for yourself to take some of the burden off of me.  Be vigilant in your relationships with your friends so that you and they are kept safe and healthy but can still have a good time. Help out at home as much as you can.  If you see I have work responsibilities that are taking a lot of time, pitch in and help more.  

“But first and foremost, stay in good communication.  Eighteen years old is the time when we move from being a child into becoming a friend to our parents if we want that.  I would like for you to be a friend so that when we are together we can laugh and have fun and exchange ideas and ideologies. Live a happy and successful life and be willing to allow me to share it with you by staying in communication with me.

“Then as I grow older, it might be a nice exchange for you to help me out as you can, if you can. And if not in any other way, then call me and come to visit with me.”

After I said this my daughter actually let out a sigh as if she had been holding her breath forever. I am not saying that if you tell your teenager what you expect as an exchange it will then suddenly all go smoothly for you, but it might.  I do recognize that in their struggle for independence that mistakes are made and conflicting expectations result in secrets that need to be dealt with. They must be dealt with and confronted.

I am saying though that in order to do a job well done and to not make mistakes, the boundaries and expectations must be known and understood.

Let’s be honest here – a fair exchange for a child (regardless of age) to a parent is not always an immediate thing.  Sometimes it takes time, even years for the opportunity to come up.  On one visit to my parent’s house, my mother was sick; an unusual thing for her even at 83 years of age.  She was upset for me that I was assisting her and helping her to get cleaned up.  All that ran through my mind was how many times she cleaned up after me when I was a baby and when I was sick.  How many times had she given me a hand up as an adult when I ran into some difficulty?  To me this was not an obligation.  “Are you kidding Mommy?  This is nothing.  I love you; this is love.”  And that is exchange.

I hope that this article helps you and gives you a guide of what to tell your children about their exchange to you as parents.  Exchange is a very important part of surviving well.  Let’s help them understand it well.

Even babies need acknowledgement

This is very true:

The very same basics that are used with adults to communicate with other adults absolutely apply to babies as well, a fantastic example of such L. Ron Hubbard singles out in a December 1954 talk on communication, where he says:

“Kids, kids that come around and they say — I have noticed this with parents… . kids will come around and they’ll say,’Jabber-jabber-wog-wog-yag-yem-gillilyogo-wabble.’

And you say, ‘My golly is that so?’

And they will say, ‘Yboggle-yoggle-jobber-jobber-wobble-wob.’

And you say, ‘Holy cats, no!’

And they say, ‘Jobber-jobber-wobble-wobble-wobble-wobble-jabber-jabber-jabber.’

And well, I say, ‘Well, okay, if that’s the way it is’ and walk off. They’re perfectly satisfied.

And I have been watching people around kids and the kid says ‘Jabber-jabber-woggle-woggle’ and the person pays no attention to them, what they are saying, so the kid then starts getting on a stuck flow. 
…

They get frantic! And parents wonder why these kids have got to climb all over them all the time and mess up the furniture and spoil everything and knock everything down and so on, when it is obviously just as you’ve said; it’s a thirst, a craving for acknowledgment or originated communication.

If you don’t want any trouble from a kid, for God sakes always say ‘Hello’ when you see him. ‘How are you?’”  — LRH  (from lecture “One-Way Flows in Processing” from the 9th American Advanced Clinical Course – available here.)

It’s something I’ve noticed all too often with my kids, starting from an EXTREMELY young age. They grunt, smile, smack their chops, etc – it’s a COMMUNICATION.  And you have to treat it like such, or they get upset. Don’t treat them like they’re just jabbering and aren’t really saying anything.

About the "Barley Formula" for babies

This is an excellent article about the Barley Formula developed by L. Ron Hubbard, as well as its importance to Scientologists.

About the formula and breastfeeding:

I first of all want to dispel one myth I’ve seen talked about around the net, and asked of me directly with respect to formula feeding as compared to breastfeeding.  I’ve seen folks saying that Scientologists are required to use a barley formula and so forth, completely false.   Breastfeeding is widely regarded as the preferred, superior way to nourish a baby, and that’s no different in Scientology. If you can breastfeed your child, and physiology or other factors do not prevent it, do so.

In a 1953 lecture that Scientology Founder L. Ron Hubbard was giving regarding energy and the lack of energy people sometimes have, he said,

“You’ll find the basic on this sometimes in the failure of the mother to breast-feed the child.” – LRH

He went on to describe research he did in the area, talking also about the shoddy substitutes for infant nutrition being offered at the time,

“Why they feed a child pasteurized milk is a great problem, since the amount of nutrition in pasteurized milk is comparable to water and chalk compared to good raw milk taken from a cow who has fed on pretty good fodder like good natural grasses and so forth.” — LRH

So by all means, if you can breastfeed, breastfeed.  Our daughter was breastfed until 8 months old, and our son is presently 7 months old and still on a primary diet of breast milk.

…

Anyone who’s been a parent knows that there are only a handful of reasons why a baby gets upset.  Either they’re tired, they’ve got a full diaper, they just got bonked in the head by a flying toy from their big sister, or they’re HUNGRY.

In an article which you can read in full here, Mr. Hubbard said:

“An incorrectly fed baby is not only unhappy, he is unhealthy, a matter of concern to any new parent. Proper nourishment is, of course, a necessary ingredient to good health. Based on personal experience, here is something that worked; it is being offered as a helpful tip to parents who seek better ways to raise healthy children.”  — LRH

So, if you either can’t breastfeed, or if your child is going through a growth spurt and your breastmilk supply simply can’t keep up all of the sudden (which happened with both of our children) one seeks alternative ways to supplement the diet.  Mr. Hubbard, in the article above, tendered a solution which he found worked and which any parent can easily try.

The recipe is:

15 ounces of barley water

10 ounces of homogenized milk

3 ounces of corn syrup

The amount of syrup should be varied—depending on the baby—some like it weak—some take it stronger.

This formula can be multiplied by any number according to the number of bottles desired but the ratio remains the same.

To make the barley water, put about half a cup of whole barley in a piece of muslin, tie loosely to allow for expansion. It is slowly boiled in a covered, vented pot not made of aluminum for 6½ hours in about 4 pints of water. (In venting the pot, one allows steam to escape either through a vent built in the lid [if there is one] or by placing the cover slightly askew so there is an opening between the cover and pot.) Barley water will turn very, very pink. This gives about the right consistency of barley water for making the formula as above.

Please read the full, illustrated recipe and instructions here on the free Volunteer Ministers course on Children.

And some comments on the benefits and results of using the formula:

My family and friends who’ve used barley formula have had great luck with it.   My daughter used it as her staple basically from 8 months old through to about 15 months old, where she had cut over to primarily solids and was only taking a bottle at naptimes.  My son, who’s 7 months old and going through a massive growth spurt, is on about 75% breast milk and 20% barley formula, the remainder is solids of various sorts that we’re starting him on.

For me, I like barley formula because:

  1. It’s all-natural.  No powdered mess, no preservatives or chemicals.
  2. It’s extremely inexpensive, compared to prepared formulas.  $10 worth of barley from Whole Foods will make you something like 2 months worth of formula.  It’s probably two orders of magnitude cheaper than buying premade formula.
  3. My kids have taken it extremely well.  No upset tummies, they seem to love it, and they’ve both grown quite well with it.  My daughter at two years old is as tall as all her three-year-old friends, so I’ll say her year of being primarily on barley formula was successful.

Facing force with reason

Great insight into parenting (and life):

Came across an interesting quote while listening to the Dianetics Professional Course lectures, something I think has some applicability to the task of navigating the “terrible twos”. 

In this 1950  lecture where L. Ron Hubbard is training Dianetics professional counselors, he’s discussing the difference between getting to the bottom of what’s causing the person travail, or bypassing it and trying to force the person to do your bidding.  He says:  

“What one does is face force with reason and refuse to partake of the force but continue to give out reason. If one does this, he is using far more horsepower than the force has got.” – LRH

Reading that, I had one of those flashback moments to every time I’d ever seen someone get mad at a crying baby.  I know – when you’ve got a kid that’s crying and doesn’t stop crying it can drag one down to infuriation, but boy that is the wrong way to go. 

Take a kid who’s starting to get tired, and starts to get whiney and on the edge of tantrum-land.  If you were to just scream at them to shut the @#$# up and go play, you’re taking the force that’s already being brought to bear on them by their reactive minds.  Blast them with your own force (which, when they’re young, is likely going to be greater than what they can muster) and you’re just giving them more bottled-up force to unleash on you (and themselves) later.

Deal instead with reason, so that you instead are working with the child and not against him and his hostility. 

Personally, I’ve seen this best applied by reasoning with the child enough to find out what’s actually going on – and then after discovering that (i.e. discovering the child is tired, hungry, needs to poop, whatever), using REASON to affect a solution. 

Works so much better!

Family

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How can Scientology help with raising children?

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